fabulusly:

i hate it when songs are 2:59 seconds long like you’re telling me you couldn’t hold a note for one more second

(via the-toilet-whisperer)

wallabrambles:

i know that it’s ‘cecilos’ as in the mashup between ‘cecil’ and ‘carlos’ but

i always read it as like

a cereal name 

CECIL-O’S, NIGHT VALE’S PREFERRED WHEAT- AND WHEAT-BYPRODUCT-FREE BREAKFAST FOOD. EACH BOX COMES WITH A PRIZE! WE DIDN’T PUT IT IN THERE, BUT WE’RE SURE THAT IT’S TOTALLY SAFE!’

(via brendanpinsky)

titytwochainz:

There’s a "safe" percentage of rat shit that the FDA allows in your food but you worried bout eating ass?

(via neptunerism)

coolscar:

all new text post TONIGHT, at 8:30/7:30c

(via brendanpinsky)

carryonmy-assbutt:

muppidupp:

nayx:

Why am I awake who summoned me

image

that is so adorable 

(via avidauthor)

worthlessand-weak:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life

(via neptunerism)

i-am-mishafuckingcollins:

you have to be a pretty big asshole if you got orlando bloom to try to punch you in the face

(via supernatural-and-surprisedtveit)

arc520:

darecrow:

Imagine being pregnant in new york

and your husband gets a cab for you and you’re rushing to the hospital when

"wELCOME TO THE CASH CAB"

image

(via avidauthor)

anus:

spotting a hot person

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(  ͡°  ͜ʖ  ͡°)

(  ͡ °  ͜ʖ  ͡ °)

(  ͡  °  ͜ʖ  ͡  °)

(via brendanpinsky)

mortymemes:

"tumblr should make a school!! we can talk about ships and write fanfics an-"

image

(via avidauthor)